It's very popular to hate on princesses right now thanks to Disney and their frenzied marketing, but there's nothing wrong with a good fairy tale once and awhile, especially if they're served up with a bit of snark. So, I have some hope for Once Upon a Time, an Enchanted sort of story that's being set up at MGM. It's moving pretty quickly too. The script was snapped up in March, and now The Hollywood Reporter says that Mike Mitchell is coming on board to lend his Shrek-honed skills to the fantasy flick.

The story follows three famous princesses: Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Cinderella, who have settled down in domestic bliss with their Prince Charmings, and are prepared to live happily ever after. But the Charming Brothers go missing (clearly, they're charming, but they lack street smarts) and our pretty sisters-in-law must team up, and set out to save their true loves. But a woman's job is never done, and they also have to save their fairy tale kingdom in the process.

It's a live action film, and THR notes that MGM is aiming for a Shrek and Enchanted level of satire. This almost feels like a Shrek spinoff, as all three princesses keep getting more and more screen time in the neverending ogre franchise. Hopefully it'll mix the best of Shrek with a dash of Ever After and Enchanted, and give girls some new princess costumes to wear on Halloween. Ones with swords.

Since I'm resigned to the fact that everything is going to be remade sooner or later, the best I can hope for is that at least studios will hire people who know what they're doing. On that note, there's a ray of hope for MGM's Red Dawn remake because Latino Review reports that Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton) has been hired to do a rewrite. I've got nothing against the project's original scribe, Carl Ellsworth, but if I had to choose between the two, I would much rather go with the writer of those Bourne films than the writer of Disturbia.

Yesterday, it was announced that Josh Peck and Adrianne Palicki will star alongside Chris Hemsworth (Star Trek) in the tale of a group of teens turned militia men better known as the Wolverines. According to THR, Hemsworth will play the group's leader, Jed Eckert (originally played by Patrick Swayze), and Peck will be reprising Charlie Sheen's role as Jed's younger brother, with Palicki filling in for Jennifer Grey as the tough-as-nails fighter and love interest for Jed. In the original film, our heroes went up against invading Communist hoards, but for the update it has been changed from Communists to a more generic threat of Russian and Chinese military.

Now I've decided that I won't get worked up about a remake unless the movie was good in the first place, and unfortunately my love of Dawn is more about nostalgia than the film itself. But you can't deny it's become a little outdated over the years (is anyone that worried about Communist invaders anymore?) -- but Gilroy has a way with smart action films, so I'll remain optimistic that he can pull it off ... how about you?

Red Dawn is scheduled to arrive in theaters in 2010.

If anything can make you forget the disappointment of Quantum of Solace, it's the news that James Bond 23 has taken the first big steps into production. No, that's not casting Bond girls or plotting explosions, but writing the script. Not surprisingly, producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli have looked again to the cream of Britain's film crop and hired a man who's gotten some attention at the Oscars lately: Peter Morgan. Few of his scripts have gone wrong (The Other Boleyn Girl is one mark on an otherwise impeccable record .. and even then, it's not that bad) and he'll definitely lend a lot of gravitas to the project. A lot.

Morgan won't be penning 23 solo, however. He's got some old hands in
Neal Purvis and Robert Wade (the pens behind both Quantum and Casino Royale), who are returning to the franchise ... and well, so long Paul Haggis. I guess he's taking the fall for Quantum.

So, now to find that new director. Rumors swirled that Danny Boyle had been offered the job, but that was quickly shot down by Boyle in an e-mail to EW. While it's always possible he could duck in once the script is done, we need to look to the rest of the United Kingdom ... and possibly to Morgan himself, who is about to make his directorial debut with The Special Relationship.

It sounds too good to be true. Three Hollywood studios (Paramount, Lionsgate, and MGM) plan to introduce a new service called Epix that will be available online and on television. Epix will feature recent titles from the three studios in high definition before they're released on DVD or Blu-ray, without commercial interruption, and without charge to the consumer. Sign me up, right? Big surprise: there is a catch. Or two, actually.

As explained at ars technica, the films will be available in the "pay-TV window," after the theatrical release concludes and before the title hits DVD. Epix wants to convince cable TV operators to bundle their network into an already-existing package, and thus avoid a separate, additional monthly fee. No partners have been announced yet. That's the first catch.

Here's the second: if you want to watch the films online, on demand, via EpixHD.com, you have to subscribe to the same provider's Internet offering. In the words of ars technica: "If Comcast were to offer Epix, users would need to pay for both Comcast cable and Comcast Internet in order to access the streaming, on-demand service. That's good for Comcast, and it helps them cover the cost of the service." That may be good for the cable operators, but if you're like me and have satellite service and/or DSL, you're out of luck.

EpixHD.com is "currently in private beta" and, contrary to what is stated in ars technica, there is no way I see for private citizens to sign up. The site says "library classics" will be available in addition to newer titles. More free movies are always welcome, though I wonder how widespread Epix will become.

[via Gizmodo]

We've all known for a while now that Guillermo del Toro and Peter Jackson's teams of merry filmmakers were planning to make TWO movies out of JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit, but now we have confirmation of the plan by the filmmakers themselves, and they doled out a few small details to Empire Magazine in honor of the publication's 20th birthday. And those quotes go a little like this:

Del Toro: "We've decided to have The Hobbit span the two movies, including the White Council and the comings and goings of Gandalf to Dol Guldur."

Jackson: "We decided it would be a mistake to try to cram everything into one movie. The essential brief was to do The Hobbit, and it allows us to make The Hobbit in a little more style, if you like, of the [LOTR] trilogy."

As Empire's Chris Hewitt observes, this should put to bed those theories that one film would focus on The Hobbit and the second would be some sort of bridging appendices miscellaneous whatnot. Expect a lot more on The Hobbit over the next three years, including every nerdly little tidbit we can get our pipeweed-lovin' hands on.

And hey, Happy Birthday Empire!

When I opened up a couple of Lionsgate DVDs last month, I noticed that the cover portion of each plastic case had a sizable hole in it, shaped like a recycling symbol. It seemed like a nice gesture, though I'm not entirely sure how much good that much plastic would do in its absence (nor how much more I would personally recycle at the mere sight of a reminder).

Then, a friend of mine opened up his Blu-ray copy of Fox/MGM's Quantum of Solace to discover similar holes. "Environmental friendly?," he noted. "Maybe. Far less sturdy and protective? Yes." (Or maybe he was just describing Bond in the movie, ZING!)

What do you guys and girls think about this recurring development? Do you believe it's a worthwhile effort on behalf of the studios to reduce waste, or would you rather shell out your hard-earned dollar for your movies to be kept in a proper and complete case?

Whenever you imagined a dream cast to play the Three Stooges in a movie, did you ever imagine an Academy Award-winning gay activist would be the first to sign? Sean Penn (?!) has agreed to play Larry in The Three Stooges, according to Variety, and Jim Carrey is negotiating for the part of Curly. Reportedly, Carrey is preparing to gain 40 pounds so he can play the role. And to play Moe? None other than Benicio Del Toro is being targeted by MGM and the Farrelly Brothers.

Jim Carrey would be a natural, of course, but Sean Penn? Does he have a funny bone in his body? His last attempt at a humorous role came in 1989's We're No Angels, a woefully unfunny film in which Penn was teamed with Robert DeNiro. Sure, he made his bones as the stoned surfer Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but it takes a real stretch of imagination to think he can play a Stooge. Stranger things have happened, though, and maybe Penn will pull a rabbit out of his ultra-serious persona and shock us all.

Del Toro doesn't have much of a comedy resume, either, though Variety's article claims he "showed comic chops" in Guy Ritchie's Snatch. Peter and Bobby Farrelly have written the script and will direct. The film is intended to be "not a biopic, but rather a comedy built around the antics of the three characters that Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Howard played in the Columbia Pictures shorts." Production is scheduled to begin in the fall for a 2010 release.

Am I underrating Sean Penn's comic abilities? Are you itching to see Penn, Carrey, and Del Toro as The Three Stooges?

Back in January, we all recoiled a little bit at the news that Neil LaBute was remaking Death at a Funeral -- a nice little British movie that only just came out in 2007, making a remake seem even more superfluous than they usually are. The fact that he was making it with Chris Rock made the whole thing seem even more cheesy. (Not that we don't like Rock ... it's just that we like him in original, edgy stuff.)

Well, the remake just got a lot more over the top. The Hollywood Reporter has announced that Martin Lawrence and Tracy Morgan have joined, along with Loretta Devine, Ron Glass, Danny Glover, Regina Hall, James Marsden, Zoe Saldana and Columbus Short. (Who wants to bet money that Marsden is the gay lover? Anyone? Anyone?)

It's keeping the exact same plot of misplaced cadavers, gay blackmail, hallucinogenic drugs, and family secrets, though Rock cowrote the script with Ayesha Carr, so we can expect some changes. It's just not clear yet what they might be ... but at least it probably won't involve bear suits or misogyny. I'm still not convinced this needed to be remade, but I suppose if you're going to do one, it ought to feature Danny Glover. Let's just hope Tyler Perry stays a million miles away from the set.

ETA: Yes, the title originally read Tracy Jordan. I watch way too much 30 Rock.

Please forgive the feigned enthusiasm of the slug, but really: A remake of Missing in Action? More like a remake of "Generic War Hero Movie Rambo Copycat." But I digress. All things cinematically '80s are making a comeback these days, and with Rambo getting some fresh sequels, it only makes sense that the other guys will start popping their heads out of the foxholes. Yep, according to this rather entertaining blog entry at THR, MGM and World Wrestling Entertainment (that's a guess) are concocting an all-new version of Missing in Action. And no, we're not going back to Vietnam.

Of course this is not WWE's first foray into films: They also gave you See No Evil, The Marine, The Condemned and the upcoming 12 Rounds. Oh, and Behind Enemy Lines 3: Colombia. (Any movie with a wrestler in it, basically.) Our source also indicates that the MIA remake will be produced for the DVD market and also spring from the collective pen of Jeremy Passmore and Andre Fabrizio. who recently delivered the admirably weird Special ... so this seems like quite the genre leap.

But really, if we're at the point where we're remaking Chuck Norris movies, then snark is pretty much pointless. Just give me a half-decent action movie with a ton of good mayhem, and I'll be a happy guy for 82 to 88 minutes. And hey, while they're at it, why not bang out the prequel / sequel remakes at the same time? Saves money that way! Now all they need is a director and lead wrestler.